The Not-So-Lost Art of Being Gentle
The Not-So-Lost Art of Being Gentle
Gentleness is not usually a topic one hears in a sermon unless the series is on the fruit of the Spirit, and even then, it's not the most anticipated Sunday. People don’t know what to do with gentleness. There is humility and kindness, so why gentleness? But you only have to spend some time on social media, experience an angry customer at a coffee shop, or listen to the rageful political accusations from any side to know that we lack this quiet and especially important virtue that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.
I started down this road of gentleness when I saw a church in my town street-preaching during a city-wide gathering. They were shouting in deep, bellowing tones about hell, damnation, and repentance. When faced with opposition from people passing by, especially high school youth angry about their message, they would return their insults with insults. They would double down on hell as their destination with vigor and volume. I witnessed one preacher calling a young high school girl stupid and making fun of her hair and how she was dressed. I think his exact words were, “You're the stupid one,” as he bent down from his preaching box and pointed at her. This isn’t the Gospel message of Christ.
How the message is conveyed is just as important as its content. The Apostle Peter’s words came to my mind: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing” (1 Peter 3:9, NIV). But it was something more wrong than just that. These men feel like they are doing God’s work, and that their preaching is kindness, love, compassion, and mercy to those who would hear and turn to God. I felt like there was something less obvious and more damning that they were missing, so I asked the Lord to show me what it was.
As I spent time in prayer and in the Word, the Lord began highlighting the word gentleness. These men lack gentleness to the extreme. Gentleness is the sword of compassion, humility, and love. It is a component of pure wisdom (James 3:17). It should be evident to all (Philippians 4:5) and expressed to all (Titus 3:1-3). It’s a requirement of a Christian leaders (1 Timothy 3:2-3). It is a tenet of living a life worthy of the Gospel message (Ephesians 4:1-2), and it flows from the Holy Spirit himself (Galatians 5:22).
Again, these men’s lack of gentleness is extreme, but as a society, our lack of gentleness is at epidemic levels. The church should be at the forefront of living out Christ’s gentleness in how we act and communicate, but sadly we are part of the problem. Justified by our convictions, we become harsh with each other and with everyone else. On Sunday, we speak softly, but on Monday, our employees, coworkers, spouses, and children, as well as our enemies, experience our harshness. A harshness that comes from a twisted idea of justice, a warped desire for respect, and self-righteousness.
But all is not lost, because the source of all things good is God, and as followers of Christ, his Holy Spirit is in us. When Jesus was faced with the woman caught in adultery, He could have cast the first stone. Instead, he humbled the men who were trying to trap him, causing them to leave their rocks and walk away, and he spoke with gentleness to the woman. Jesus said:
“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Jesus could have saved her from her accusers and still given her a harsh lecture about how terrible she was and how she should flee from sin, but that’s not how he did it. “Then neither do I condemn you… go now and leave your life of sin,” he said. That’s the gentleness we are called to.
Without gentleness, compassion is only empathy, humility is only an ideal, and love is just a word. The next series of posts will examine what the Word of God says about gentleness and how we are to be a people who express it — from how we share our faith, to how we lead, to how we live our lives.